A joke

Got forwarded a couple of jokes today, and would like to share with you:

1. Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery.
Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night'

2. You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today.
They left a little note on the windscreen.
It said, 'Parking Fine.'
So that was nice.

3. Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other your round.
The other one says So are you, you fat bast**d!

4. A man takes his Rotteweiller to the vet.
My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him? Well, says the vet,let's have a look at him, So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth.
Finally, he says,I'm going to have to put him down. What?
Because he's cross-eyed? No, because he's really heavy

5. A man came round in hospital after a serious accident.
He shouted, Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!
The doctor replied, I know you can't, I've cut your arms off.


Have a nice day.

22:32
After a reasonably nice day, watched a very exciting match between two best teams in the world. It was a real shame that Shevchenko's goal was disallowed, where the defender was clearly slipped. Otherwise it could be even more exciting. Both teams were attacking (compared to the defensive Arsenal from yesterday) and with great quality players, even one of them is not a human being, or he wasn't born on Earth.